Ask Roe: I used to be obsessed with how handsome he was and now I feel nothing. How can I reconnect?
First of all, I want to acknowledge how incredibly difficult the ripple effects of Covid have been – on you, and so many people, in so many different ways. We talk about the trauma of being separated from and even losing loved ones and we talk about the impacts of the isolation on our mental health . But too often we skip over the kinds of losses you are experiencing: the loss of time, of opportunity, of free choices, of growth and adventure and self-development.
You’re grieving both the time lost and the sense of readiness that you were hoping you would have now, as the idea of starting a family feels more urgent. You’re grieving the structure and plan you had for your life, and the sense of safety and control it afforded you. And you’re grieving the desire and connection you used to feel with your husband, and you’re worried that because it feels missing so early in your relationship, that you’ll never get it back, that you somehow missed your chance.
Have a very honest, vulnerable conversation with your husband – the first of many. Tell him how much grief you’re feeling for the plans you had and how the pressure of starting a family is making you feel. Talk about how you’re feeling disconnected from him and that you miss both him and feeling like yourself. And then listen to what he has to say – because I have no doubt that he has also been struggling too and has been really missing you.
Talk about what plans were disrupted, what you were both hoping they would bring you emotionally and how you might start to readjust. You might find that there are some plans that you’re happy to scrap. There might be some plans that were parked during Covid that you want to pick back up. And there might be some new things that you need now.
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